The teen years are fraught with conflicting feelings and thoughts as these almost-grown children head closer to adulthood. Parents are often left wondering what happened to their delightful kids who went from happy-go-lucky to moody, frustrated, conflict-ridden adolescents. KidsHealth from Nemours advises distinguishing the difference between emotion-driven adolescence and puberty, which is physiological.
Video of the Day
During the teen years, children naturally move toward establishing independence, according to The F.U.N. Place website, or Families United on the Net. Most teenagers are heavily influenced by people outside their family with music, what to wear and other fads that their parents may not approve of. Parents need to realize that this is normal and they are still important in their children's lives, even when it appears that the teens are trying to push them away. The teenagers are trying to exert their independence as they head closer to adulthood.
As the teen gets older, she is likely to fight for control, which may create conflict with her parents. This can leave her parents feeling hurt and rejected, creating stress because there is a constant battle of wills. As the teenager asserts her independence over friends, clothes, music, curfew and other issues, she's taking a risk to overcome her fear of not gaining control and becoming an independent adult.
Parents have expectations of their children with everything from grades in school and how they dress to college and career choices later on. Parental disappointment creates conflict and problems in the relationship between them and their teenagers. It often comes across as anger, giving teenagers the feeling of rejection from the people who were once the most important figures in their lives.
The teenage years are also the time when kids start experimenting with risky behaviors, such as drugs, alcohol, tobacco and sex, claims the KidsHealth website. Without a foundation of knowledge and understanding of expectations from the parents, the teenager is more likely to be confused when the parent expresses disapproval after the fact. Parents need to communicate and educate their children before they hit the teen years, and communication lines need to remain open, or the problems will escalate. The Psych Central website states that a high-quality relationship between parents and their teenage children appears to lead to teens postponing trying alcohol until a later age.
Teenagers struggle with role confusion and identity, claims groundbreaking developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst Erik Erickson, according to Theravive. Teens are constantly trying to filter confusion between society's labels of who they should be versus who they really are as individuals. Teens need to feel as though they belong to a unit while remaining a unique individual. Theravive claims that this struggle is responsible for many teenagers being attracted to gangs.
When parents argue, teenagers may feel that they were somehow the cause, according to Teen Advisor. This can lead to alienation if the parents allow their words and actions to escalate out of control. Teens may feel that their parents don't love each other anymore, leaving the teenagers to wonder how it will affect them. Although arguing can be a healthy way of airing differences and working through problems, mean-spirited fighting with harsh words can leave a lasting negative impression on everyone in the family, including the teenagers. If the parents can't work out their problems and wind up separating or divorcing, the teenagers' world is further rocked and thrown off balance as everything in their lives changes.
Lose Weight. Feel Great! Change your life with MyPlate by LIVESTRONG.COM
Essay about Parent and Teenager Relationships
838 Words4 Pages
Parent and Teenager Relationships
As a child begins to enter adolescence, there appears to be a rise in conflict between the adolescent and parents. The amount of conflict differs from family to family and is dependent on many factors. It is mainly due to the changing characteristics and growing of the adolescent and the way in which the rest of the family adjusts to these changes.
Adolescence is a time of challenge and change for both teens and parents. Teens are at a stage in life where they face a multitude of pressing decisions -- including those about friends, careers, sex, smoking, drinking, drugs and parental values. At the same time, they are confronted with profound physical, social and emotional changes.
Myths of…show more content…
The goal is to hurt, as the teen feels hurt by others.
When the above situations occur, many parents (and teens as well) feel they are caught in a situation that is bad; it doesn't make any difference what you do, it still doesn't work. Parent and teen are further apart than ever, and both feel terrible. The reasons are many and complex. Often, parents today do not take enough time, working and playing with their children. They need to realize that the family is a complex emotional system, not a business organization. Parents must convey the message of caring, that "you count, you are important." They must nurture, encourage, show firmness, love, guide, respect, facilitate, and "'let go."
Disagreements arise between parents and teens, usually over a matter of control, and the power struggle over "Who's in charge" and "Who's right" begins. Conflict often arises when parent and teen disagree over whether or not the teen has acted responsibly enough in the past to make certain decisions more independently in the future.
One reason that the struggle for control continues or heats up is because both parents and teens are human. Parents give up control and then take it back. Teens act responsibly one weekend, irresponsibly the next. There are few things more difficult about being a parent than trying to figure out how to give the teenage son or daughter freedom enough to learn responsibility,